Edward wrapped up his lengthy mea culpa. He could hear the old man breathing through the screen. Inches away. But no reply. “Well, can you forgive me?”
Finally, a response. “I don’t know.”
Edward knew his rights. “As a priest, you’re required. I just confessed.”
“My son, I can’t offer absolution if I don’t believe you sincere.”
“I am. I swear it. Before God.”
The priest was resolute. “I’m sorry. The answer’s no. Maybe I’m biased. After all of your lies. Can you forgive me?”
Yours is a beauty, Caro … excellent twist. I used the prompt to do a 6-word, 50 and a 100-worder. I’ll be posting it on Friday (to tie in with my ‘month of new fiction’ schedule) but I’ll pop the 100 below. Thanks for the excellent prompt.
The girl looked the same. Older, of course, aren’t we all? She exuded the same playground over-confidence, a brittle facade, fidgety over-exuberance masking an inner silence of nerves. Today, though, there was no crowd to play to, no vacuous hangers-on to laugh along at her cruel barbs. Most importantly, no soft target.
Maybe she should have stopped this process earlier, unforgivable really. It was behind her, she’d thought. She’d fashioned this business, created a family more than a team.
But sometimes your past needed to be faced, acknowledged but never forgotten.
The forgiven walk proudly among the unforgiven who know their secret. The unforgiven outnumber the forgiven, but that is an illusion, for the unforgiven know the secret of the forgiven and, thus, also outnumber the forgiven in other ways. What crime is it about which the unforgiven know, which keeps them from joining the ranks of the forgiven? What could be so terrible and horrific?
The secret the unforgiven know is that the forgiven don't think their secret is so terrible or horrific. The forgiven never do. And that is why the forgiven found it so easy to self-forgive themselves.
Unforgiven (100 words)
Edward wrapped up his lengthy mea culpa. He could hear the old man breathing through the screen. Inches away. But no reply. “Well, can you forgive me?”
Finally, a response. “I don’t know.”
Edward knew his rights. “As a priest, you’re required. I just confessed.”
“My son, I can’t offer absolution if I don’t believe you sincere.”
“I am. I swear it. Before God.”
The priest was resolute. “I’m sorry. The answer’s no. Maybe I’m biased. After all of your lies. Can you forgive me?”
Edward considered, honestly. “I don’t know.”
He had not said no. That was a start.
There’s a lot of depth crammed into the word count, Scott. Excellent.
I agree.
💛✍️💛
Thank you Barrie, so glad to see you are sharing more of your own great stuff!
Yours is a beauty, Caro … excellent twist. I used the prompt to do a 6-word, 50 and a 100-worder. I’ll be posting it on Friday (to tie in with my ‘month of new fiction’ schedule) but I’ll pop the 100 below. Thanks for the excellent prompt.
Ha we had the same thought, you did it better!
REMEMBERED (100 words)
“Why did you decide to apply for this role?”
The girl looked the same. Older, of course, aren’t we all? She exuded the same playground over-confidence, a brittle facade, fidgety over-exuberance masking an inner silence of nerves. Today, though, there was no crowd to play to, no vacuous hangers-on to laugh along at her cruel barbs. Most importantly, no soft target.
Maybe she should have stopped this process earlier, unforgivable really. It was behind her, she’d thought. She’d fashioned this business, created a family more than a team.
But sometimes your past needed to be faced, acknowledged but never forgotten.
Good one, Caro!
100-word challenge--Prompt: "Unforgiven"
Title: Forgive and Forget
The forgiven walk proudly among the unforgiven who know their secret. The unforgiven outnumber the forgiven, but that is an illusion, for the unforgiven know the secret of the forgiven and, thus, also outnumber the forgiven in other ways. What crime is it about which the unforgiven know, which keeps them from joining the ranks of the forgiven? What could be so terrible and horrific?
The secret the unforgiven know is that the forgiven don't think their secret is so terrible or horrific. The forgiven never do. And that is why the forgiven found it so easy to self-forgive themselves.
Very nicely woven